Here's what I got:
With all due respect, this is indeed an amature flash. Though it is somthing I probibly cannot do, I will still try to give you some pointers.
The first thing I would suggest is music. Since I myself am ADHD, i have a hard time sitting still. That can easily be tammed by music, which until the credits, was absent. A couple of Artists i'd suggest using for this kind of thing would be Rob Dougin (Matrix Agent Training), Akira Yamaoka (Silent Hill), Linkin Park, etc. But my suggestion will usually lead to an instramental track, so that way you can concentrate more on the flash, rather than the lyrics.
My second suggestion would be the buttons. I'd say try to deviate away from those, just cause it's a pain in the ass to try to click them. Most of the time, i'll want to watch a flash and do nothing else. I don't know if you have a microphone, but i'd also suggest trying to get vocals in the flash as well.
That's all i got out of it, with the exception of the story itself. However, that topic was already discussed, so there is no need to reintroduce it.
Good luck with your flash mate!
-Skeel